I promised myself I would write a post, today, Wednesday. The day got away from me, but it isn’t midnight, yet.
I have been extremely busy. I received some ancestral information from a relative in Scotland, and could not stop researching what was given to me. I spent hours upon hours the past two days on ancestral websites, including Jewish Genealogy dot org, Ancestry dot com, and Family Search dot org. I was consumed, to say the least.
My research garnered many positive results in locating ancestors and their history. To say I am delighted is an understatement. I am also extremely exhausted, but a good, productive form of exhaustion.
I feel more knowledgeable about my family roots, history, locations, and percentages of ethnicities. There is gratification, gratefulness, and appreciation for all that I have discovered. With each new document and its contents, I literally cried. I knew much of the information from decades of research, before the internet, even. But, obviously there was so much to still garner, and I am loaded with piles of information printed out, and stored in files on my computer, and backup devices.
Reading historical, familial information brought me to tears. Tears of joy, sadness, and tears of completeness, of knowing for certain, who I am composed of, who flows through my veins, my cells, my organs, my entire body. I could see similarities within ancestral backgrounds and photographs. It is amazing how generations later, one can see themselves in photographs of others, and one can fully realize certain traits about themselves were based upon relatives/ancestors who lived 300 years ago. The same goes for medical history.
There was a sadness, maybe a yearning or wishing, for the fact I would have loved to have known all of these individuals that form the composite of Me, my body, my soul, my Being. But, I am grateful to know them in the forms that I do, through documents and some extremely old photographs. I have that to read and reread, as often as I want to. I feel their presence, because it flows through me.
So, here I am, writing at 11:02 pm, still Wednesday, in a state of complete exhaustion, but a positive exhaustion, repeating myself. Please excuse my rambling. I think I will end this post, on the high note that I am feeling.
Good night. Thank you for visiting.